Friends, and self worth.

It's funny how two posts can be so insanely different. This is about a wonderful friend.

Sometimes people amaze me. As you all know I'm involved in this program called TEC and a month ago I went on a weekend and I met this guy named Steve, and we became fast friends.


And later on you'll see how that plays into the story.

For a really long time I've struggled with self worth, and self-confidence. I never feel like I'm worth that much and I know that i shouldn't feel this way, in fact I know that i'm worth a lot. But confidence always evades me. This was at an all time long before I got diagnosed with depression and got on meds for it. I struggle daily with self image, worth and confidence. My self image has a lot to do with my weight, I've been trying to get back on my diet that I'm suppose to follow so that I don't become diabetic and so that my pancreas doesn't have to work so hard, and I've been working out on a regular basis, and not a single pound has come off. I know that it shouldn't be about losing weight and instead about being healthy but I would think that those kind of go hand in hand, especially at the weight I'm at. The being worth something part has a lot to do with school, as a kid I was always teased at school because I wasn't good at something, or that I was quiet and didn't like to publicize my life to everyone, or because I was bigger than pretty much everyone in my grade. Both weight wise and height wise.


At TEC we share about our struggles and mostly it has to do with your relationship with God. But I decided that my biggest insecurity, or thing I needed help with in life, was my self worth/image. At the end of the weekend we have small group sharing sessions and Steve was in my group.

At the end of our sharing time we can pray for whatever we feel like so we prayed for someone that was really struggling on the weekend and then Steve says "I'd like to pray for my new friend Linnea" and then he prayed that I would always feel worthy of people's love and other such things.

I've never had someone pray for me directly like that, I was just so blown away that someone could feel such love for me in such a short amount of time that he felt the need to pray for me. I mean I know my parents have prayed for me but not outward like that. It was just such an awesome feeling.

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Something that still had to do with the weekend, 9 times out of 10 I will become friends with guys, and generally older. My 3 "best" friends of the weekend were Steve, Tim, and Chuck, all of which were 30 or older. They all helped me just forget about everything and have fun that weekend, it was something I really needed.

And with that some friends are so beautiful, and are put into my life at just the right time.