"Friends"

Friends are a funny thing. It's funny how friendships ebb and flow. And then how sometimes something happens and it all falls apart. Friends have always been a hard thing for me. I make friends easily enough but then maintaining it is hard. I'm a super shy person and within my friendships I'm always the one reaching out and trying to hang out and I'm sick of it. I tell myself over and over again that I'm done trying to make something work but then I catch myself trying over and over again. And this is where the story begins.


I love concerts, and anyone that reads this blog or knows me in real life knows that. I asked one of my really good friends to go to the Muse concert with me that's happening this Thursday, his answer was "well I don't know if I have the money, and I don't know if I want to go to 2 concerts in 2 days" so I told him to think about it and get back to me, low and behold about 2 weeks later I find out he's going to the concert with someone else, because tickets were free. This pretty much pissed me off to no end. Free tickets? Yeah I'm all for that, EXCEPT when someone else asks first. (sidenote: I hold grudges because it's my way of protecting myself) so I was hurt and pissed. I eventually forgave him, although there will now always be a seed of doubt in my mind about him. We moved on.

Well today, he wrote a status on Facebook and one of our mutual friends commented and then I got in on the conversation, and of course to be cool original friend starts agreeing with mutual friend and they both start ganging up on me, and one thing leads to another, and i feel like crap. (there will be a post on self image/worth later this month) I hate that original friend has to do this EVERY time mutual friend is around.

Mutual friend and I went to high school together and were actually pretty friends, still are, but those two  together can be pretty hurtful.


SO all this, to say. I'm done. I'm done with being nice to original friend. Sure, I will be friendly to him, but our friendship is no longer. I don't want to hang out with him, I don't want to really even talk to him but I kind of have to. I'm going to a concert with him this friday (which was decided before all of this drama) and then after that, I'm cutting as many ties as possibly.

I hate that loyalty is part of my personality I will give you so many chances and be so loyal it's ridiculous however, being screwed over so many times, I just really can't deal with it anymore.



*Sorry names weren't used in this story. I hope you were still able to understand it without names.