letting you all know.

Well this post has been a long time coming, I finally got diagnosed with depression, it's been something I've been battling for the past 3 years at least, one of my friends posted this status on facebook and I pretty much love the entire message of it: "

Depression and anxiety disorders are not a sign of weakness. They are signs that you've been trying to be strong for too long. Put this on your wall if you or someone you know suffers or has suffered. Most people will not due to the stigma attached but this is Mental Health Week and 1 in 3 of us will suffer at some point in life"

I would say that I've been strong for too long. I don't let people in and I guess in the long run that has the potential to hurt me. I've never let people in easily. There are 3 people that I would say are my close friends but I really haven't let them all in. They know more about me than most other people and I'm really happy that those are the three people closest to me. They can usually manage to raise my spirits when I'm down.

I've really struggled with myself, letting myself be who I am, and there will forever be a part of me that's afraid to completely be myself, but there is also a part of me that doesn't care what others think. It's a constant struggle for me. I guess a few years ago I started to have self-esteem issues, I'm not very confident with myself and my abilities. I feel like I've always "graded" myself harshly or compare myself to others. In high school the only subject I was good at was History, and I really started to love it, but I feel like that's how I see myself only good at two things(the other being photography.) That's how little I believed in myself.

I'm working on myself, and this break though it's been a bit boring, has been good for me, I've really been trying to work on my confidence issues. Senior year I was happy for the most part, but I still struggled daily with confidence, self esteem, and believing that something good would ever happen to me. Being on Zoloft has helped me a lot, I feel so much better on it, and I feel, for the first time in a very long time, happy.


Sorry this is such a rambly post. Also, sorry that my first post in over a month is kind of a downer, but I really just wanted to remember my journey through all of this.

Because I want to remember

I'm writing this post mainly because I want to remember these things in life that I'm currently excited about.

I took last weekend off, mainly because I had a few plans and didn't want to try and work around those, and because I'm really burnt out from working. I genuinely like five people at work and the rest it's either a love/hate or dislike/dislike relationship. So really, this break was exactly what I needed. But anyway, onto my point, on Sunday I went tye=dying at the history museum, they have a 1968 exhibit going on right now and so every few weeks they have workshops and one of them was tye-dying, and my shirt turned out awesome!

Also on Sunday, we had a Mission Trip meeting, I think we've had a meeting before but I don't think I was able to attend that meeting. But mainly why I'm saying all this is because I really want to remember how I feel at this moment in time, it was a great meeting and I'm really excited for the trip! There are a lot of "youngin's" going on this one(meaning there are a lot of 14 yr olds going) But regardless I'm excited right now. I met this kid named Derek who is going and I think he's new to the church because I haven't seen him much before, but a lot of the kids that go to Anoka know him, and he was really nice. And honestly, I think he was the only "new" person I didn't know. Everyone else has been apart of the church for a while so I've gotten to know them/at least talked to them once or twice.

Another thing I'm excited about: tomorrow night I'm going to one of my best friend Troy's first state football game! I never paid much attention to Elk River sports because frankly, we kind of suck. The only good sport we have is Tennis, and sometimes Hockey. So when Anoka fb made it to into section finals I jumped at the chance to go watch Troy play, and then when they won and were going to state, well really how could I miss that? So I invited my sister, and my youth minister and hopefully tomorrow night will be a good time! And I know Troy is really excited that I'll be there. (read: I sent him a text telling him I'd be there and his response was Yes!! You're my favorite person ever:) yay!")

Thirdly(is that even a correct segway?) tonight I went to the Hennepin Tech open house, and I think out of everywhere I've toured on this second go at it, I like that place the most. It's so much more laid back than anywhere else I've toured. No one was trying to impress me with the school, it was more like a "here's what we have, if you don't like it well don't come" which is what I love. I don't need someone to impress me, I just need them to be themselves and if I like it, we'll be good friends/whatever I'm deciding on(like schools.) During this whole process I've really struggled with what I should do with life, because at one end I know I love photography and I think I would enjoy it as a profession and at the other end I think I would like Anthropology, but that is just an idea I really have no idea if I like it or not, but I feel like I shouldn't waste four years of my time/life/money to figure it out. So right now, I'm happy with my decision to follow photography and see where it gets me in life. It's amazing how at one point I never wanted to do photography as a profession and I just wanted to strictly keep it as a hobby, and now I can't really think of anything I'm good at besides photography.

Next, earlier this week(I believe the 8th) my most favorite teacher of all time turned 40. So happy birthday to that old fart.
And my best friend since the age of 4 turns 20 tomorrow, so Happy Birthday to my amazing best friend Jacob!


And lastly, on Tuesday night I was working the closing shift, and the sunset was absolutely beautiful so I took a picture enjoy:




The sky was full of so many beautiful pinks and oranges!



Also, I love late night writing.

A good time

I've really been missing being in school lately, I miss feeling like I'm learning something every day. Instead I'm surrounded by idiots, delivering sandwiches. Woohoo! Living the good life, I guess.

But really like two weeks ago I went to SYTYCD tour, and it was really good. I unfortunately, couldn't bring my big camera so I didn't really get good pictures, but it was still a really good time!








After 4 months, I'm officially calling it a scar.
And I just wanted to take a picture of this shirt because this band is quickly becoming my favorite, and it's super comfy. Unfortunately because of all the weight I've lost it's considerably big on me now.

volleyball

I went to a few volleyball games a few weeks ago, and mainly it was because I wanted to get back in photography. For the longest time, I hadn't taken any pictures and I was really missing taking pictures, so I figured it'd be the best way to get back into it. The volleyball team at Elk River, has always been pretty good, unfortunately they've never been given the proper "light" they deserve. They are currently in the first part of sections and I believe their record is something like 6-2.





Oh Tessa, she never pays attention to what she's actually suppose to be paying attention to.
One of my good friends, Jayde.

Lakeside

When I went up Morris two weeks ago, I passed a lake and I have honestly no clue what the name of the lake is but I pass it every time I go to Morris, and the sun was setting and it was beautiful, and since I wasn't in any real hurry to get to Morris, I decided I would stop and take a few pictures of the lake! Which my dream is to one day live on a lake so hopefully that dream will come true some time! =]


These are my four favorites of the ones I took!









I have always wanted to get a pictures of a spider web, and for now this will have to do!

October

Oh October. It is probably my favorite month of the year, not even kidding. Fall colors are starting to come in, so trees are changing, and it starts to cool off a little bit(unless it's this year, which has just been weird) I have yet to need a jacket but have switched to jeans/sweatpants instead of shorts!

I feel like once October hits, and that's the start of the year for me, I feel like it's a good time to start over on everything! I especially love cold fall days/rainy days, when I can just curl up on the couch with a book or movie and lounge around all day!








There are so many posts coming up! I finally downloaded round two of pictures, just one more round to go. But this was a hefty one!

The time when people come home.

*Correction from the last post: I have well over 250 pictures to download, plus over 100 more I just took last night.

So here are some pictures from homecoming! None of these are edited, in truth I could make them lighter but I feel like they're alright without it.







For real, I posted this just to remember that we had a winning season once!

friends, fall, and an update.

Well as it's nearing the one month mark of when I last posted I thought I should write again. This break was unintentional but then again I didn't really have much to say.

So let's start with this, Fall is probably my most favorite time of year, like for real I don't think I love any time of the year more. Specifically I love October, because there's still those days that are warm but it's rounding the corner into colder days, which means sweatshirts and curling up with a good book or watching a movie on a gray, overcast, chilly day. I love when the trees change to bright colors, however I'm not loving this wind that keeps blowing all the leaves all over!

Last weekend I went back up to Morris for their homecoming, we lost big time the score was something like 40-7. It was bad news.
The weekend before that, I went to ER's homecoming, and we won that one I think it was 42-34 or so. But it was great seeing people! Most of them didn't know that I'm back home for the semester so I had to tell my story about a million times, which I'm not gonna lie is probably the most awkward thing, because people will either a) understand and think that it's cool that I'm doing what I believe I need to do or b) think it's a foolish idea to not go to school for a semester.

Yesterday I went to the beach with two of my friends, and yes we are just that crazy but for the record I'm pretty sure it was high 70's. However we didn't go swimming, it was much to cold for that! The sad thing is, that was my first time at the beach since last summer!

Other than those two weekends I've been keeping it pretty chill around here, I work (almost) everyday, I'd say at least 6 days a week on the weeks that I don't request any days off! But honestly, I'm a little bit of a workaholic so this is good.

BUT, NEXT THURSDAY IS THE SYTYCD TOUR AND I'M SO FREAKING EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And now, to leave you with some beautiful pictures of my friends and me! =]




Ever since I got home, this kid(Jake) and I have been talking so much more, and let me tell you since his freshman year he's actually matured quite a bit, because for the record I didn't really want to be friends with him two years ago.

Reunion of the gov't kids!!!

Zachy-pie and me! =]





I have well over 150 pictures to download (and possibly edit) from homecoming, fall colors, and a volleyball game I recently went to, so I'm hoping that I'll post again soon!

What I do when I'm not doing school.

Work. Errrday! Literally since coming home I didn't work the first week and then started last week and have gotten 30 or so hours each week. I told Trav that I wanted to work doubles 2-3 times a week, well apparently he interpreted that as working every day mostly doubles. =[ I don't mind the money I just wish I had more free time, and where I didn't feel like I lived at JJ's, alas that's what happens when you don't have a life.


I'm going to start touring colleges soon, (as in going to Hamline tomorrow) and hopefully getting a good vibe from one of them! I really want my college experience to be like my sisters(where she loved it!) but I know that that may not be possible, but I'd like to get as close as possible to that!

My friend Jessica and I are going to the SYTYCD Tour on Oct 13th! SO FREAKING EXCITED IT NEEDS TO BE IN CAPS.

And literally that is my life currently. I don't do anything except work, and once in a while hang out with Blake, we have plans to go stargazing "soon" (soon meaning before the first snowfall but not at any determined date right now.)

Man, I'm excited for life right now.

This is good for me

I believe the decision I've made is good for me. This summer I didn't really have a summer, I worked so much I didn't really get to enjoy it, besides the little vacations at the beginning and end of summer. I truly believe that this semester off will be exactly what I needed it'll be the vacation I never had this summer, and I'll figure out what I want to do with life. My one hope with the college searching that will be taking place is that I'll find the place that I belong, my sister went to St. Mary's in Winona and loved it, and I want to find that. I know that it may not happen, but I think when I decided to go to Morris it was just the best of the 3 I toured.

This break has already been good for me. Yesterday I hung out with my friend Blake who I haven't seen in person for a few months, we went to the library and then to coldstone and it was just really nice to not have to worry about anything. Today I have a few errands to run, and I'll probably start researching other colleges more extensively.

Monday I'll start work again, which is okay with me because I love Jimmy John's, more than what I should. I'm hoping to work doubles at least 2-3 times a week, because I know that right now they're really short on drivers/workers in general!
This morning as I woke up I had the thought, "oh man, today's friday which means it's the weekend but after that I'll have to go to school again" and then of course it hit me that I won't be going to school again this semester, and that fact is a little foreign to me, for the first time in 14 years I won't be going to school. But I feel like this is the happiest I've been in a long time.

Doing the right thing

I have to believe I'm doing the right thing right now. As I came back I realized I'm going to miss the people here more than I ever thought I would. Tonight, I had a really good talk with my friends Scott(or affectionately called Scotty) before tonight I thought I would really only miss like 2 people, but it figures that more people are interested in what I think than I thought. However, I'm doing the whole ditching town thing on more than a few people and I can only hope that they won't be mad at me for not telling me, but to be honest, I guess I don't care because they don't care to hang out so why should I care about what they think of my decisions?


And something else completely, some old photos I've been looking at today; being a little nostalgic I guess.



I miss these times so much! Oh for all of us to be in high school again!

Ahhhh, good times! So many good times!

First winter pep band freshman year, I have to say we were the most attractive people in that whole arena!
My best friend!! I love this kid so much!

Post Edit

I've made my decision people!
It's "official" (it actually won't be until at least tomorrow) but I'm transferring and so I'll be dropping out from Morris for this semester and working at home, I truly believe I'm making the right decision here. Two days into being here I wasn't happy, and I guess somewhere in the back of my mind last year I might've known that this place wasn't for me, but I didn't want to make that decision until I was for sure...Well I'm for sure now.

I'm excited for whatever may happen next, I don't know where I'll be going to school now, I just know that I can't stay here, I'm not happy.

I also know that at home people are excited to see me and hang out with me. Since being back here, I have never once been asked if I wanted to hang out with someone. I know I'm a quiet person, and very introverted and I also know that I don't need a lot of friends to be happy but at home I have friends I can talk to at least, whereas here I just have Jessica, which is okay but it's always nice to have more than one friend to talk to!
Sorry that ^this sentence is one very long run-on sentence!



On a completely different note: Last year I gained a few pounds (the much acclaimed freshman 15) while I'm not completely sure if I gained the whole 15 pounds I did gain weight, so this summer I decided I would try and lose that weight. So I started to only eat 2 meals a day, and losing the weight(obviously not all that healthy) and then once I got diagnosed with PCOS and got put on the diabetic diet I lost more weight, since the start of summer I've lost 17 pounds(according to my record.) This weekend while I was at home I tried on a sweater for church and it was the baggiest thing I've ever tried on, and unfortunately it was actually one of my favorite sweaters ever!

So I'm hoping that after I move home I can continue to lose weight and work out too!

Stuck between a rock and a hard place

So as it turns out this whole not knowing what I want to do with life is really troublesome. It's pretty much head vs. heart at this point. My head and the logical part of me says that I should stay here for the semester hopefully do better in my classes and help my GPA a little bit, but my heart is really really yearning for home at this point. I don't really understand what's going on. I've never missed home this much and I don't really know what's happened, whether it's because I spent a fair amount of time with my parents this summer or whether it's because I've started to realize who people are here. As in the people I thought were my friends last year, definitely don't seem to be the same people this year/got into some things that I definitely don't like this summer.
I'm stuck in that place where I feel like in order for me to be happy, I need to follow my heart, but I also feel like it's sensible for me to stay here and try and be happy, but it's not something you can force. To be honest here, the only time I feel happy is when I'm hanging out with friends.

I also have to say that I'm not really all that happy with my classes this semester, the only one I truly like is Archeology(but that might be because my adviser is the professor) otherwise, the other two are filling gen ed's and while I need to have these to graduate I just feel really defeated. Archeology is also one of the times I feel happy to be back here, because two of my friends are in the class with me, and it's just nice to see them at a consistent rate.

I'm going home this weekend to talk all this out with my parents but I feel like this week has been the longest week of my life, and that I can't wait for the weekend so I can see them!

I've also been looking at other colleges and not a lot of colleges have Anthropology as a major, but now I've been thinking about maybe I want to be a history major and work in a museum but you can also do that with an Anthropology degree, so really it comes down to what I want to do with my life, but of course I don't actually know what I want to do with my life. And everyone tells you that at 19 you don't need to know what you want to do, but I feel like in order for me not to waste money and in order to finish college at a decent time I do need to know and soon. Within looking at other colleges I've also been thinking that maybe I should live at home and a)save on expenses and b) I won't be able to get homesick then.


And because most of my posts have been all words lately here's a picture for you:






I found this quote on the internet a few days ago, and I feel like I need to live by these words but it's hard to do right now.

The Thinker

Yes, I've been obsessively thinking about anything and everything lately. Mainly life and my classes here, whether this is truly where I should be right now, whether I should transfer, whether college is right for me(at least a four year), and the amount that I'm missing being home and the people that are there.

Never in my life have I been this homesick, I feel like I didn't miss my family as much last year but maybe I did but just didn't recognize the feelings. And I'm not sure if it's where I'm at now surrounding wise, and that I don't have all my friends on the same floor(which sounds crazy, but the thought has crossed my mind) or whether it's just that this truly isn't where I'm suppose to be, and if it isn't then where am I suppose to be? I've been thinking a lot about whether I should transfer, or whether I think this is just a "phase" that I'm going through(which I doubt.)

Right now, I'm still thinking a four year is the right move but I have no idea, maybe anthropology isn't what I want to do, but honestly the only subject I consistently got good grades in in high school was History, so if not anthro, then it's got to be history. When I'm hanging out with friends here, I don't miss home but obviously I'm not hanging out with friends all the time so when I'm not my thoughts can turn to home and then I get homesick, it's just a vicious circle that I don't want to be in.

This weekend I'm going home, it's funny how I thought I wasn't going to go home until October and then I got here and became homesick and am now going home two weeks into the school year. I'm so looking forward to it, like as soon as I decided I was going home I was so excited.
I called my mom this past Thursday and it was the best phone call I've ever had we didn't talk for that long but it was exactly what I needed and I just liked hearing her voice. =]

I'm officially dropping one of my classes, it just was definitely not what I expected it to be, and I think life will be a lot easier without the class. However I'm still searching for a class to fill it with, and haven't found anything of interest yet, and I'm hoping if I do take just 12 credits I won't be bored this semester.

For now, it's time for homework.

PCOS

Well, this post has been a long time in the making I started it on June 13th and have no definite time line of when I'll be publishing it, but it's something that's been on my mind since the moment I found out, and often consumes my thoughts late at night before bed.

I got diagnosed with PCOS on May 26th, the day before my birthday. I also found out I have insulin resistance, which means my pancreas has to pump out twice as much insulin to break down sugars/glucose, which apparently can lead to type 2 diabetes, so at some point in life there's potential for me to become diabetic. Looking back on it, I probably had PCOS at the age of 15/16.

This isn't really something I had on my "to-do" list of summer, nor was it something I ever really imagined I'd have to deal with. Since I was diagnosed I was put on meds to help with the insulin resistance and will soon start others so to regulate my body again, but at the ripe age of 19 it's generally not something I want to deal with. Through the past 3 months of summer I've more readily come to terms with this diagnosis, and been able to accept the fact that this is something that I will have to deal with for the rest of my life. I truly am okay with this diagnosis, there are millions of people that have more severe health problems than this.

On top of this diagnosis, I have elevated liver tests, so that might just mean I have a "fatty liver" (meaning there could be fat deposits within my liver) or there are other possibilities too. My doctor is trying to find me a nutritionist, honestly? I didn't even know she was looking for one until I called today, and I'm not really sure what they're suppose to do with me but I haven't really inquired further about it either. In about 4 weeks I'm going to see an endocrinologist and I'm hoping that she'll have some answers of what I can do. I know one thing you can do it lose weight, and I've been doing that. I don't eat a lot anymore, I honestly just am rarely hungry. I eat breakfast and dinner, and that's it usually I don't have time for lunch so I just have a small snack to make me last until dinner. I know it's not the "healthiest" thing to do but it works for me. Although I don't know how I last from breakfast( usually around 9:45) until dinner(around 6:00) without being hungry but then end up usually going to bed hungry. It's odd, but it works.


Update 3 months later:
It's August 26th and I plan on finally publishing this.
I've officially come to terms about this diagnosis, and have continued to take meds that help me. As it turns out I do just have a fatty liver and nothing else wrong with it, I'm not sure but the meds they put me on can screw up my kidney so I'm assuming that they'll do regular tests on my kidneys to make sure nothing is going wrong with them.

I went and saw a nutritionist on the 18th, and was put on a diabetic diet because of my insulin resistance, so now I am counting carbs and losing weight although being back at school as been one of the hardest parts of this whole thing, I can't serve myself a meal so now I'm just guessing how many carbs are in what they serve.


And that is mostly the story of what I've been doing this summer besides working!

Day 3

A picture of you that was taken over 10 years ago.
Awww, supa cute!

Oh how time flies

Well in a week I'll be moving back to school. I have no idea where summer went, but I guess working does that. Although I'm proud of myself that I've managed to have more fun than I did last summer. I literally worked doubles 5 out of 7 days a week last summer, and while I'm working more this summer I was hell-bent on having more fun. Last summer I went to a concert and went on a mission trip, in 3 months that's all I did. So I decided that yes, I deserve more fun than that this summer and I'm proud to say that it happened.

Just earlier today I got back from a week vacation to St. Louis, and it was a blast to not have to wake up at 4:30am, or have to work 14 hour days. I went to bed at 11:30 and woke between 8:30-10 every day. IT WAS GLORIOUS.

Although, I truly am looking forward to going back to school, for real it's been too long since I've seen turbines, or millions of cows in a field. Or my favorite triangular house...

my summer in a nutshell(a concert)

THIS WAS THE BEST NIGHT OF MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!!! Seriously, my friend and I went to a Jack's Mannequin concert back in June, and it was the best time of my life!!

my summer in pictures(Mission Trip edition)

Well, I haven't had a chance to really do a lot this summer due to working so much, but the times that I do have a chance to do stuff it's so awesome. This was back in June, and these people I met were some of the best people I've ever met. I love mission trips because usually everyone wants to be there, and they all love working(especially the last two years, where it's been hard manual labor!) I can't say enough good things about these people! The weeks I go on my mission trips are probably my favorite week out of my entire summer


Me and Kody!
The guy on the bottom right, is Aaron and the guy standing next to me is Keith Two of the most awesome, most genuine guys I've ever met in my life!


After 6

years of knowing each other Troy and I finally got a picture together! =]Sam, me and Kody!

My truly awesome adult leader, Jon! It was his first mission trip, but he was so good!

Day 9

Well, since I haven't posted much lately I thought I'd take a look at the "30 day photo challenge part 2" and just pick a day, and day nine struck me it was: "A photo of something you last dreamed of"
Yes, I dreamed about an Orca. I have no idea why, or how I dreamt it but I did. I was living with an Orca it was in a tank in my house( or at least someone's) and I would tease it. I don't remember what I was teasing it with, but it would get angry and charge the cage and then run into the walls and I thought it was the funniest thing ever.

I still can't figure out where this dream came from.

What happens when you work a ridiculous amount to pay for school

You never have free time. Right now, I'm almost literally sleeping and working, I work a full time and a part time job, making it close to 50-60 hours a week is average now. It's not pleasant, but it's what has to be done, in order to pay for school.


I have however done a few fun things this summer, and pictures will be up before the end of summer. (I say that so that I don't have to try and get them up soon)

Procrastination

You could say that I'm a master procrastinator, some think it's a gift, others think it's a curse. However, I've never not completed a project due to procrastinating. The reason, I'm talking about this is because I'm putting off packing and cleaning. I hate both of those things, to the max. Well actually I don't mind packing, I just really hate cleaning. So I thought I'd take the time and share a little bit about summer.

I've been really busy working, and very little hanging out with friends, in a day I'll be leaving on my mission trip for the summer, and I'm super excited, it's usually my favorite week out of the summer, but I have to say that this year I have a lot of expectations because last year was just so good. My group last year was like a second family to me, and I still keep in contact with almost all of them! I just hope it's a little less ghetto than Milwaukee last year!

I just got a new job today at my dad's work as a temp, I'm hoping that I'll have at least a little fun while working, they pay well, and hopefully I'll be working close to full time! Lord knows it'd help me with school!

I have the best Godparents ever, the rule is that I'm not suppose to get presents after I turn 18, but they gave me 2 tickets to valleyfair and 50 dollars this year(when I turned 19), officially best Godparents ever!

SYTYCD "premiered" last night with the top 20, always my favorite show during the summer!

In a little over a week I'll be going to a Jack's Mannequin concert AND I CAN'T WAIT! My friend Morgen and I like these two bands (Jack's Mannequin, and Something Corporate), both headed by the same person, so last year SC came to town, and this year JM is! EXCITING!

Also this summer, I'm hoping to go to a cabin that my parents won in a silent auction, and possibly to a friend's cabin(I'm not sure, I have yet to actually hang out with her this summer!), and possibly to St. Louis!


Well, I suppose I should go be productive, just a little update!

music videos

Well following suit of the last post, here are some more covers by "small people" (meaning kids) doing famous songs to start is a cover of Lady Gaga's "Born this Way" which is actually a very catchy song!

So great that a girl her age has that kind of voice!

And the original:


of course we can't forget one of my favorite shows version of Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream"
Honestly I love this version a lot more than I've ever liked Katy Perry's!

Original!


Bohemian Rhapsody: Gotta love the white satin in the original!!!


And just because this is hilarious:

I knew Rick Miller until we watched this in Anthropology one day. =]

more to come later! =]

I have words

I have things I want to write, but a) don't really want to sit down and write them and b) don't have them coherently put together in my mind. I haven't wrapped my head around everything yet, once I do I'll probably post something normal, for now here are my 2 favorite songs right now:

I love this video simply for the classic ballroom dancing in the middle of it.


This music video is kind of dumb, it's basically adele sitting in a chair singing the song.


Here's a version of Adele's song. I actually really like it except for a few minor parts where she seemed a little pitchy, I usually don't like when people cover songs(although I'm aware Adele did cover this) however, this is really the only version I know.

It's Time

Well after a month off, I figured I should write something.
Truthfully, I haven't wanted or needed to write anything down. But I have some pictures to share from when I was back at school, honestly I don't think they're that great but I just needed to get out of the room one night and this is the product of that: